[3.50/10] Somewhere (2010)

Somewhere (2010)

Sofia Coppola's fourth full-length feature film revolves around Roguish Hollywood star Johnny Marco, who finds his debauched life of excess unexpectedly interrupted when his 11-year-old daughter shows up at the Chateau Marmont Hotel for an unscheduled visit. Later, as father and daughter reconnect, Johnny begins to reassess his sordid lifestyle. With "Somewhere", Sofia Coppola has proven to the general public yet again, that she's one of the most boring and unimaginative filmmakers working today. She could be easily described as, well, overrated. As many of you know, her second film and so-called masterpiece, "Lost in Translation", was very well-acclaimed by the critics, but truth to be told, it was a pretty mediocre effort, with no heart and soul, and crafted with zero imagination. Unfortunately, very few had the courage to admit it publicly. Believe it or not, Coppola's latest film is even worse. This dreadful bore-fest should have been called "Nothing" instead of "Somewhere", as this film is neither dramatic, nor humorous, nor interesting, nor touching, nor intriguing, nor gripping... nor anything. It's just a big nothing. Watching "Somewhere" is as exhausting and frustrating, as watching a paint dry, since absolutely nothing happens throughout the entire film. To comment on the story is rather impossible, too, as the film feels like a bunch of random scenes thrown together with very little to no plot. Technically, "Somewhere" is also a lackluster. Sofia Coppola's direction is so weak, and uninspired, it borders on amateurish. She uses a lot of long and static camera shots and unnecessarily prolonged scenes, just to artificially extend the running time of this film, and as a result "Somewhere" becomes even more tiresome and ineffective. There is some nice, mostly indoor scenery that pictures well the luxury lifestyle of a celeb, but that's about it.The performances should have been the film's main strength, but sadly, those are hardly satisfying. Stephen Dorff is an okay actor, but he's neither talented, nor charismatic enough to carry a movie. His performance as the lonely and asocial Hollywood celebrity is flat, lifeless and unengaging, just like the movie itself. Dorff's character is so dumb and narrow-minded, he never fully realizes what a boring, selfish and monotonous life he lives. However, Elle Fanning truly shines as Johnny Marco's young daughter, Cleo. Fanning is so sweet and likable, and she acts so naturally in front of the camera, it's fascinating. She plays the only genuinely likable character in the entire movie, and you can't help but wanting to see her on screen more often. The supporting performances are pretty mediocre, without any real standouts. All in all, there's almost nothing to like about Sofia Coppola's "Somewhere". I dare to say, it's the most pointless, tedious, pretentious and uninteresting film of the year. And I've seen "The Killer Inside Me".