Sunday, September 18, 2011

Blogfest: Nebular's "Filthy" Dozen - The 12 Worst Movies Ever


Worst Movies Ever Blogfest:

My 12 Most-Hated Movies of All Time


[in alphabetical order]

My great friend, Alex J. Cavanaugh, hosts his 5th blogfest, and this time, it's all about the movies yet again. However, there's a twist. It's not about our favorite ones, but about those we hate and despise, which is a rather cool idea. Thanks for the awesome blogfest, Alex!

Over the years, I've seen tons of dumb, rotten, hideous and downright unwatchable movies, but those 12 listed below are definitely the worst movies I've ever seen in my life. Check out my "Filthy Dozen" list, and let's see if you agree with me or not. :) I bet there are many worse films then those I list, but thankfully I haven't watched them. :)


Alone in the Dark (2005)

Uwe Boll constantly proves himself as one of the worst film-makers working today, and his video game-based piece of crap,"Along in the Dark", is probably the most stupid, uninspired, poorly-crafted and laughably terrible movie I've ever seen.








I've never been so bored by a movie in my life, like I was bored by this one. Without a single interesting moment, "Ballistic" is hands down the dullest and most tedious action movie ever made. Period.







Barb Wire (1996)

Do I really need to say something about this film? It's all so obvious: Pam Anderson stars as a badass chick in a futuristic(?!) action thriller...!!! You're kidding me, right? This girl's brain has more silicone in it than her tits do.








A "Delta Force" spoof, huh? Who's "brilliant" idea was that? "Farce" is an absolute comedic disaster and I hated every second of it!











Disaster Movie (2008)

There are decent spoofs, there are bad spoofs, there are some truly terrible spoofs, and then there's "Disaster Movie", that definitely lives up to its title.










D-Tox a.k.a. Eye See You (2000)

Slashers could not get any worse the that. This so-called killer-chiller has everything awful you could think of - cliches, predictability, lack of imagination, and... Sylvester Stallone.








FearDotCom (2002)

Fear my ass. This sadistic junk of a movie not only lacks scares, thrills and chills big time, but it's also one of the most ugly-looking and visually-sloppy horror movies ever created.









House of the Dead (2003)

Surprise, surpriiise! Another Uwe Boll film... which automatically means another pathetic effort! "House of the Dead" was so unbelievably horrible and so bloody dumb, I quit watching after 15 minutes.









Jason X (2002)

The "Friday 13th" films are by no means masterpieces, but this one clearly crossed the line of the acceptable. Jason Vorhees looks like cheap robot and slaughters people in space. How ridiculous is that?!








Police Academy 7: Mission to Moscow (1994)

Painfully unfunny, terribly-made

and full of WTF moments, this 6th sequel of "Police Academy" is just as stupid as it sounds.










Rollerball (2002)

This remake of the 1975 "Rollerball" is choppy, ludicrous, terribly-acted, boring as hell, and completely unnecessary. I still can't believe I paid to see this shitty snooze-fest. Worst movie ever? Hell yeah!










"Urban Legends: Final Cut" is a poor sequel to a mediocre original. It's as simple as that. It features a boring killer, even more boring plot and out-of-this-world stupid characters. Pure slasher garbage!








Dishonorable mentions:

Wild Orchid (1990), Bats (1999), Watcher (2001), Valentine (2001), Soul Survivors (2001), Half Past Dead (2002), The Order (2003), Absolon (2003), The Thirst (2006), Meet the Spartans (2008)

74 comments:

  1. Wow! None of these are on my list, however I will make sure they are on my list of what not to watch.

    Seriously, they made a Police Academy 7???? Lame. XD

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  2. Caledonia, seriously? You're lucky you haven't seen any of those. They're absolutely horrible!

    Yep, they did. Can you imagine? No. is soooo lame, you won't believe it! LOL.

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  3. Agree on Urban Legends 2, Police Academy 7, House Of The Dead, Alone In The Dark - all crap.

    Disagree on Valentine (I really like that!) and Jason X (Fun!)

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  4. None ended up on my list, but many of those spoof movies qualify. And we have one in common - House of the Dead! All of Uwe Boll's movies qualify.
    Glagolitic you had fun with this one. I'm sure you've seen far more stinkers than I, although I've seen most on your list. Unfortunately!

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  5. Maynard, glad you agree about those three. As for the rest, they were not just bad, they were one of the worst I've ever seen. How you could enjoy such a tedious film as Valentine? Jason X... Oh, God, I don't even want to talk about it. RIDICULOUS!

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  6. Alex, none of these? Really? Wow! I thought those are some of the worst I've seen. I can only what your lists consists of! :) Uwe Boll is an idiot. They shouldn't have let him to start a directing career.

    Those are the stinkiest stinkers I've seen, Alex. :) There are others like "Gigli" and "Baby Geniuses 2" that might be worse than those, but I haven't seen them, because I knew they'd suck.

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  7. Great list, hun. All of these movies suck out loud and sideways. Uwe Boll should be barred from ever making another film. LOL

    I'll be posting mine shortly , so stop on by if you get a chance. I'm dying to know what you think.

    Hope you are well, my friend. Hugs!

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  8. We have a few of the movies in common! :-)

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  9. Uwe Boll is on my list. House of the Dead. He should be banned from making any more movies.

    I actually liked Ballistic. I didn't think it was that bad.

    I almost put Jason X on my list, but it is Jason in space so you know what you're getting yourself into.

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  10. Wow, glad I've missed all of these. I really liked the original Rollerball so I didn't even bother with the remake.

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  11. I am not sure if disaster movie and their ilk should count as they are deliberately trying to make bad movies. Whats that? They aren't? oh, nevermind.

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  12. not that is a matter, but i love all those films you hate... but what i do like is your choices of movies you chose to watch.


    jeremy
    twothumbseightfingers.blogspot.com

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  13. I do believe Disaster Movie and Jason X are the only movies I've ever heard of that are on your list. Glad I missed them!

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  14. Hmmm, I heard of most of these movies. I'm learning so much from this blogfest! ;)


    ♥.•*¨Elizabeth¨*•.♥

    Can Alex save Winter from the darkness that hunts her?

    YA Paranormal Romance, Darkspell coming fall of 2011!

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  15. I"m happy to say I haven't watched any of these, so I'm good. Phew!

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  16. Mel, thanks hon. Glad you thought so. Uwe Boll is an absolute idiot and the most tasteless filmmaker ever.

    I can't wait to check out your list! It will be fun.

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  17. Angela, I'm so glad to hear that. Those we have in common are terrible, aren't they? :)

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  18. Isis, you liked Ballistic? Really? I hated every minute of it. Boring as hell!

    If Uwe had a brain, he should have stopped making movies. Obviously, he hasn't.:)

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  19. L. Diane Wolfe, you should be. They all SUCKED!

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  20. Budd, they're trying to make funny movies, and they fail. Disaster Movies ranks amongst the worst spoofs ever.

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  21. iZombie, you're kidding me, right? :) I respect everybody's opinion, so I'm okay with that. Thanks, glad you like my picks :)

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  22. Jeffrey, don't check out any of those. EVER!

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  23. Elizabeth, you should be glad you've ONLY heard of them. :)

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  24. The only one on your list that I've seen is Jason X. I watched it with friends while getting drunk, so we just laughed at lot, but I'm sure it is crap. So, no Planet of the Apes from Tim Burton?! These films on your list must be truly awful, because that was seriously rotten!

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  25. Russ, buddy, I've seen hundreds of films that are worse than Burton's Planet of the Apes. Imagine that! :)

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  26. We must think alike b/c we have a lot of the same ones on our list. If I would have added 12 instead of 10 I would have added Barb Wire as well. Awful, awful, awful.

    I do disagree about Jason X. I thought that Jason was somewhat redeemable b/c it was both cheesy and violent. I actually enjoyed that one.

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  27. Great blog by the way. I'm following you now!

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  28. whoo hoo!
    glad to say i haven't seen a single one of these!
    yay, for hours of life not wasted!!!

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  29. msmariah, really? Well, it seems we share the same taste about terrible movies :)

    I don't know... I thought Jason X was a ridiculous mess. Fredy vs. Jason was a cheesy fun though.

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  30. msmariah, thanks. I'll definitely follow back.

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  31. Vic, yay indeed. Those were so awful, you'd regret you've seen them for the rest of your life. :)

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  32. I thought Barb Wire was all right...but it sure got a lot of heat for being perv material. Agree about fear dot com. Looked interesting for a moment...like...for a trailer.

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  33. Great list! Some spoofs just don't manage to do it right. As for FearDotCom, I think it should have went down in flames when all the other dot coms did!

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  34. Ben, and I thought it was awful. Feardotcom... OMG, I don't even want to talk about it. :)

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  35. Christine, LOL. Well-said! Yes, it should have, because it had no real reason to exist. There are spoofs that are alright, but Disaster Movie in particular was dreadful!

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  36. This is probably the first blogfest where I get to say I'm glad I haven't seen anything. LOL.

    Thanks for the list.

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  37. Golden Eagle, you should be glad. Those are a waste of time. :)

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  38. Loved the first Police Academy, then every film after that declined one level at a time.

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  39. Haven't seen any of these - maybe BATS (one of your HM's). Obviosuly glad I didn't. ;D

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  40. They do sound really bad. I haven't seen any of them.

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  41. I've heard of some of these but haven't seen a one. Guess I'll take your word for these and avoid them.


    Lee
    Tossing It Out

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  42. Hi I have never heard of those you chose but congratulate you on an excellent post.

    Yvonne.

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  43. lol, Barb Wire was kind of laughable in its terribleness. ;)

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  44. I haven't seen hardly any of the really bad movies mentioned by others in this blogfest. I'm beginning to think I'm a very lucky moviegoer.

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  45. You may have found a worse Stallone movie than mine!

    Great list.

    I promise to avoid.

    Heather

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  46. House of the Dead made quite a few lists. I skipped that one and I'm starting to feel like that was a brilliant idea!!

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  47. Love it! You totally included a Police Academy movie! LOL!

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  48. This is a damn good list....
    I, sadly, have seen every single film on it, and can confirm your assertion that each one sucks.

    Hmmm. I may have to make a list of my own. I'm certain it would include Battlefield Earth and Glen or Glenda.

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  49. Stephen, so did I, but as you said every next film got worse and worse.

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  50. RaShelle, you should be gal you haven't. Oh, Bats was so bad!

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  51. Clarissa, they're just as bad as they sound.

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  52. Yvonne, thank you so much. :)
    You should be glad you haven't seen these craps.

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  53. Patricia, you definitely are a very lucky moviegoer :) All of these are awful.

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  54. Yvonne, yay me. D-Tox was not only the worst Stallone film, but also one of the worst slashers ever.

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  55. Jennie, you should be very glad you skipped House of the Dead. It was so bad, it got on my nerves.

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  56. Small Town Shelly Brown, oh yes I did. :) LOL.

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  57. Andrew, thank you so much. You're the only commentor that have seen all these 12 films. Glad you think they suck.

    Luckily, I haven't seen Battlefield Earth, and I doubt I'll ever do. :) Thanks for the comment.

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  58. LOVE your blog. I stumbled upon it during Alex's blog fest. I'll be returning. Great list!

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  59. I haven't seen all of these, but they reek lame and slimy~ Thanks for sharing! I have to be in the mood for slasher films. I am more into the haunting thrillers. The music changes then the blood flies and I'm folded into a trembling preteen. Yeah, after the third Police Academy, I was done.
    Disaster was just that, so lame and
    Delta Farce, didn't see it all, but enough to know not for me.

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  60. From your list I've only seen Police Academy 7 and Jason X. I didn't hate Jason X.

    Dave
    Dave Wrote This

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  61. Oh, I totally forgot about Barb Wire - this should be my number one, ha, ha!

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  62. Ciara, thank you so much. I'd love to have you as a follower too. :) Do you have a blog yourself?

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  63. Ella, you should be glad you haven't. They're all super-lame. I'm not a big slasher fan either. It's my least favorite horror subgenre.

    Delta Farce was DREADFUL. I wouldn't have watched if I knew how terrible it was.

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  64. Dave, Jason X was hideous and absolutely laughable.

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  65. Angela, I couldn't forget it. It was so bad. LOL.

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  66. Mission to Moscow is a good choice. Overlooked by many, it's GOD DAMN TERRIBLE.

    http://zombiehall.blogspot.com/

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  67. Kev, glad you think so. Yes, it's completely awful. I would never ever see it again.

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  68. Good choices! Ugh, Ballistic Vs. Sever. That was awful.

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  69. Thanks, Ty. Yep, "Ballistic" was one of the worst films I've seen in my life, if not the worst. :)

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  70. You're lucky that you stopped watching House of the Dead after 15 minutes. The only reason I rented that in the first place was that it was set on the island I grew up on.

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  71. LadyJ, really? That's interesting. I wouldn't watch it again even it's been shot in my backyard, that's how much I hated it. :)

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