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Sunday, January 13, 2013

[4.00/10] Texas Chainsaw 3D (2013)



Brief review: Almost 40 years after the release of the original "Texas Chainsaw Massacre", and half a dozen remakes, sequels and prequels, director John Luessenhop brings yet another entry in the already tired franchise, that is more of a late sequel, rather than a proper reboot. Do we really need one? Not really. Since this film is not a reimagining of the original, and it tries to add new elements to the story in order to stand out from the other installments, thankfully "Texas Chainsaw 3D" does not necessarily feel like a 'cinematic deja vu', but on the other hand, that doesn't mean it succeeds in its attempts. The story still feels forced and often nonsensical, and the unsurprisingly hackneyed script is filled with overused slasher cliches. Also, the little twist in the end is ridiculously impausible, and doesn't help the movie either. In this one, one of the biggest horror icons, Leatherface, is not the grimly intimidating masked killer we remember, but a big, clumsy and dull guy, running around with his chainsaw turned on. "Texas Chainsaw" fails to keep you on your toes as well, for the fact that it is lacking in any sort of tension and suspense. Sure, the gore is there and very in-your-face, but the death scenes are crafted with zero imagination, or creativity. Alexandra Daddario saves it from being an utter disaster, by playing a likable protagonist, that exudes decency. However, the other characters are very stereotypical,  and act illogically most of the time, and that makes you want them dead.

Overall summary: Neither as scary as the original, nor as entertaining as the 2003 remake, "Texas Chainsaw 3D" attempts to freshen up the franchise with very little effort, hence, it ends up being a generic sequel, relying mostly on the gore, that has no actual reason to exist.

20 comments:

Melissa Bradley said...

Yeah, no. I'm done with this. Honestly, there is so little that bothers me anymore in horror movies that the entertainment comes from watching the f/x and the silly pretty people getting knocked off in gruesome ways. But even that is starting to get old.

Melissa Bradley said...

Ok, the thing I never, ever got about Leathetface, is how do you NOT lose a 300 pound behemoth, half blinded with a mask, carrying a fifty pound chainsaw that never seems to run out of gas. Funny, my uncle's always did. I guess that's why I just never got into this franchise. LOL

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Doesn't surprise me. I wasn't a fan of the original either. Just not my kind of 'horror.'

venoms5 said...

I saw this last night with some friends,George. Awful film. I liked it okay till the last 30 minutes or so when that big Rob Zombie style change took over and then I pretty much hated it from then on.

There's an additional scene after the credits by the way.

I pretty much agree with all you've said in your concise review!

George Beremov [Nebular] said...

Mel, I agree. Having said that, I actually thought the 2003 remake was pretty good. Slashers have never been my thing, and there are very few I genuinely like.

George Beremov [Nebular] said...

Mel, lol. I've always wondered about those things as well. On the other hand, almost everything about horror films is implausible, so I promised myself not to take anything even remotely seriously, and enjoy the silliness. :)

George Beremov [Nebular] said...

Alex, I liked the original, but wasn't crazy about it. This one is not worth-seeing on the big screen, that's for sure.

George Beremov [Nebular] said...

venoms5, I lowered my expectations for this one, in order to avoid disappointment, and eve though I disliked it, I didn't think it was garbage. The last 30 minutes were a bit over the top, and the twist was almost laughable.

Alex Jowski said...

What made me the angriest about this movie was that the took the word "Massacre" out of the title. It's such a lazy remake they couldn't even muster the energy to finish the title.

George Beremov [Nebular] said...

Alex, well-said. I didn't think of that to be honest. I thought they got rid off the 'massacre' word, because they wanted to set this sequel apart from the rest.
And I agree, it was lazy indeed.

HorrO said...

I probably liked it more than you but I can't disagree with what you said. It's bad, but I was expecting worse so it didn't bother me as much. I kind of liked the change of story at the end. At least they tried something after screwing up the time line! Great review!

George Beremov [Nebular] said...

HorrO, I read your review, and I know you enjoyed it a bit more than I did. I admit, they tried, but they didn't try enough to make it stand out. %Thanks, buddy!:)

Matthew Vanacore said...

The original Texas Chainsaw Massacre ranks as one of my five favorite horror films of All-Time. That being said, these dreary Hollywood remakes/reboots/reimaginings dull the blade of excellence that I once associated with this franchise.

Your review is spot-on. This film is generic, implausible, and devastatingly unwatchable. Great review :)

George Beremov [Nebular] said...

Matt, I'm not the biggest fan of the original TCM, but I can't deny, it's a classic.

I couldn't have said it better, pal. They turned the franchise into a cheesy gorefest.

Thanks!:)

Emma said...

I hated the first one and I will most likely hate this one. I have to admit though the trailer makes me jump everytime!

George Beremov [Nebular] said...

Emma, you did? Well, in this case, you'll definitely hate this one as well. Also, I'm gonna tell you a little secret - the scariest moments are only those shown in the trailer. :)

Dard Shayari said...

Pure garbage. They set the movie in 2012, 39 years after the original. The only character that aged was the Sheriff. The main character was a baby in 1973 but is miraculously only about 22 or 23 in 2012 (which they clearly display on a grave stone, 2012). Which, by the way, brought the film from ridiculous to absurd. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974) is a perfect film, it needs no more exposition, but this movie BEGAN in implausible territory and only sank deeper into the abyss. Stay away if you have a brain. It's lazy film making

George Beremov [Nebular] said...

Dard, to be honest, I've seen worse. It was dull, but at least they tried to add something new. Hated the twist. I disagree about the original being perfect. Truth is, it's nothing that special, really. I saw it recently, and it felt dated and ineffective.

"Stay away if you have a brain." - Not sure if that was addressed to me, but obviously I've seen it already. :)

Sher Shayari said...

When the movie first started I thought it was going to be a pretty good movie. I thought the opening sequence was amazing. The 3D conversion of the original film was really cool. After that the introduction with the main cast was corny but pretty much every horror movie is, because for some reason producers don't want to spend money on actors that can carry on a scene without running and screaming. When the horror begins, it starts to get better. I really liked how the film was unpredictable and you didn't know what was gonna happen next. Overall this film gets a 6/10 because it pays good homage to the original 1974 film, while adding different, original elements to the genre. Just don't take this movie seriously, because you will be disappointed. Go into it thinking it's a continuation/spoof of the original film, because this movie has some pretty funny moments. The sad thing is, is that I don't know if the makers of this film were intending it to be funny.

George Beremov [Nebular] said...

Sher, I agree for the most part, though I think 6 out of 10 is a pretty high score for this so-so entry in the franchise.