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Tuesday, June 12, 2012

[3.50/10] Piranha 3DD (2012)


Piranha 3DD (2012)

Brief review: Two years ago, French director Alexandre Aja managed to deliver a campy, funny, enjoyable and over-the-top gory reboot of "Piranha", that hit all the right notes. Now in 2012, "Feast" director John Gulager attempts to take things one step further, but fails miserably on pretty much ever single level. His rather unnecessary sequel promises to double the amount of horror, action and blood, but it's essentially a (much) worse version of 2010's "Piranha 3D", that relies heavily on the success of its well-executed predecessor. From the laughable double D title, to the terribly-written script, total lack of imagination and amateurish acting, everything about "Piranha 3DD" is a disaster, and it should have sent the movie straight out onto the DVD shelves, where it belongs. There's one decent thing about "Piranha 3DD", and this is the end credits, which are funnier than the actual movie. Visually and technically, this sequel also fails to succeed. Gulager's direction is all over the place, the CGIs are cheesy at best, and the piranhas themselves look like badly-made rubber toys. At least gore fans will be pleased, even though the gore itself is unimpressive and unsatisfying compared to the first movie and lacks the 'cool' factor. All the characters are one-dimensional and quite dumb, and Danielle Panabaker aside, not a single person here can act, not to mention David Hasselhoff's laughably bad cameo.

Overall summary: Unfunny, poorly-crafted and ridiculously copycat-ish, John Gulager's "Piranha 3DD" dares to compare itself with Aja's version, claiming it doubles the action, the terror, the gore and the nudity, but the only thing it doubles, no triples, successfully is the stupidity.

18 comments:

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Shame. I give the first one props for not holding back and just going for the gore.

HWR Curator said...

totally a rent-a-movie... thank you for the solid, though i enjoyed the score.

Jeremy [Retro-Zombie]
Howlin' Wolf Records: On-Line Magazine

Matthew Vanacore said...

No interest seeing this crapfest before reading your review. Certainly no interest after reading it. Thanks for tearing into this mess with the proper amount of vitriol, George.

Craig Edwards said...

Ouch!

Melissa Bradley said...

You know, the pic alone is enough to make me avoid this like a sneezing, plague-ridden gorilla. However, your splendid, razor sharp review seals the deal.

Russell Betney said...

Really? You actually paid to see this? I'm not surprised that it's that bad, I'm guessing the market is adolescent teen boys and older drunk men! I think the only trailer I've seen that's worse than this is Abe Lincoln Vampire Hunter!

Maynard Morrissey said...

Watch out for a huge Piranha review, incl original, sequel, remake, 3d remake & 3d sequel :-)

George Beremov [Nebular] said...

Alex, the first one was great gory fun! This one is just plain dumb.

George Beremov [Nebular] said...

Jeremy, I wouldn't rent it if I were you. :)

George Beremov [Nebular] said...

Matty, this one is definitely not your cup of tea. Not sure if it's anybody's at all. LOL.

George Beremov [Nebular] said...

Craig, big ouch! :)

George Beremov [Nebular] said...

Mel, considering how good the first film was, I expected this one to be at least cheesy fun. Well, it was just cheesy.

Thanks, sweetheart!:)

George Beremov [Nebular] said...

Russ, thankfully, I did not. ;)

Abe Lincoln Vampire Hunter? You seriously think it looks that bad? I don't. :)

George Beremov [Nebular] said...

Maynard, I'm looking for your mega Piranha post. ;)

Maurice Mitchell said...

When you make a sequel to a bad movie do you get a better movie? Not usually.

George Beremov [Nebular] said...

Maurice, I see your point, but I disagree that "Piranha 3D" was a bad movie. I actually loved it.

TheNYCFilmChick said...

It's interesting how most really enjoyed the first movie and absolutely hated this one.

George Beremov [Nebular] said...

TheNYCFilmChick, there's a reason for that. The first one was campy fun with loads of slick gore, and this one is just a cheap uninspired rip-off.