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Tuesday, November 2, 2010

[4.00/10] Mission London (2010)



Mission London (2010)

I've been writing movie reviews since 2004, but I've never ever reviewed a Bulgarian movie. Till now. The main reason I haven't done this is because BG cinema truly and honestly sucks. It's the same case with "Mission London" - the most successful film in Bulgarian cinematic history. Making over € 1.3 million at the domestic box office, it can be considered as the first-ever Bulgarian blockbuster. The craze and the hype over "Mission London" was tremendous here, but for me, it didn't meet expectations at all. It unfolds around Varadin, a Bulgarian ambassador, who arrives at his new posting in London, a few days earlier than expected and finds the embassy in disarray and no preparations in place to celebrate Bulgaria's accession into the EU. Under pressure from Madame Selianova, the President's wife, and a patron of the event, Varadin's political standing rests on him ensuring the Queen attends the concert. But with corrupt staff, criminal gangs operating out of the kitchen, falling in love with a stripper and a little misunderstanding with a PR firm that provides look-alike royalties - his simple task turns into a chaotic nightmare. "Mission London" mostly suffers from tired and unoriginal premise, total lack of focus, incoherent plot, overacting and flat jokes. Plus, it has too many (and unengaging) characters, most of which remain completely undeveloped. Performances-wise, "Mission London" fails to make a great impression as well. The acting from UK cast is pretty decent though. Alan Ford is the only internationally famous face here, and he does a good job as Sibling, thanks to his undoubtedly strong screen presence. Tomas Arana, who co-starred in Ridley Scott's "Gladiator" is passable, yet unmemorable as Munroe. Rosemary Leach as the 'fake' queen of Britain is probably the only funny character in the entire movie. Unfortunately, all the Bulgarian actors do a terrible job, with the exception of veteran actor Slavcho Peev, who's charm and positive aura that lightens up the screen in every scene he appears. Our miserable actors display their horribly pathetic acting skills and prove yet again that they are not suitable for movies, but only for theatrical productions, as their acting is so overstated, that they often make their characters look like cartoon heroes. Julian Vergov is mediocre as always and he just can't carry a movie. Ana Papadopulu not only has a laughably terrible accent, but she totally sucks as an actress. Lyubomir Neikov, a popular BG comedian, who's usually funny and hilarious to watch, fails to provide many genuine laughs for the audience. Carla Rahal, who looks like a fat cow, is there just to eat things and to annoy the audience with her horrible shrilly voice. Koceto Kalki is such a clown, I barely stand him. Ernestina Shinova's acting is hideously over-the-top and exaggerated to the max. On a positive note, "Mission London" is pretty decent in terms of visuals. Dimitar Mitovski's direction is overall pretty good - he uses a great variety of camera angles, and the photography and cinematography are also impressive, at least for our standards. Having said that, "Mission London" lack a competent editing. And an incoherent plot combined with poor editing is a simply a disaster. Nicely-shot, yet unoriginal, messily-structured and painfully unfunny, "Mission London" is the first-ever Bulgarian blockbuster I'm so NOT proud of.

12 comments:

Jaccstev said...

This is interesting, I never saw a Bulgarian movie before. Is there any Bulgarian horror film Georgi?

Nebular said...

You may watch this one, Jaccsy, although you're gonna need English subtitles, since they speak in Bulgarian most of the time.
No, Jaccs, there isn't, but I've always dreamed to make the first-ever Bulgarian movie :) This is never going to happen, of course, but no one can take my dreams away, right?:)

Jaccstev said...

So let's make it then :) How about a horror film that mix the Asian and Bulgarian folklore :)

Nebular said...

Wow, that should be interesting ;) Great idea, Jaccs! If I've had the money I would start shooting this BG/SG horror co-production immediately. Would you be my assistant director, Jaccs? :)

Jaccstev said...

I'll be happy as the screen writer, editor and if possible the martial arts director as well :))

Nebular said...

Agreed. So it seems I'll be your boss during the shooting process :)
Martial arts choreographer? Wait a second, pal... I thought we're gonna make a horror flick? :) Or you have in mind a hybrid like "Blood: The Last Vampire"? If that's the case, we're going to choreograph the action sequences together, since I consider myself as the new Yuen Woo-Ping I can't wait to show what I have :) Haha! :)

Jaccstev said...

I think since we co-produce this project so I'll be the boss as well ;P Yes I know how great you will be as the new Yuen Woo-Ping from Europe but since I'm more familiar and knew a lot of those unique styles and moves of martial arts, in the end I can see how much you'll rely on my incredible skill :)) HaHa! :)

Nebular said...

I came up with this idea, so this automatically makes you the 'minor boss' :) I've seen over 200 martial arts flicks and I've learned Tai Chi, so do not underestimate me. My skills could be just as good as yours, if not better :) :P
Anyway, is it gonna be a pure horror, or one mixed with some kung fu, Mr. Martial Arts expert? :):) You know I'm messin', right?:)

Jaccstev said...

I'm not sure with minor word there coz eventually most of the budget for this project will be from my pocket :)) :P I know how curious you are with all this horror and kung fu mix, but believe me this won't be a mess, coz I already have a great movie idea in my head and it also involved moc-doc stuff :)))

Nebular said...

Oh, so you're the wealthy guy here, huh? :) It seems we won't come into a total agreement about this project, therefore I suggest to make two movies.

Anonymous said...

Hi Nebular, I'm a bit late with the comments, but I saw Mission only now and was disgusted . There is something very wrong with the Imdb rankings system.
I couldn't agree with you more.
I also thought Bulgarian movies suck until recently, when I saw " Eastern Plays". Is one of the few Bulgarian movies II can proudly show to my friends .

Nebular said...

Him Anonymous. Comments are always appreciated, so you're not late at all. First things first - are you Bulgarian? I am! :)
There's nothing wrong with imdb's rating system, it's the silly watchers' fault. They overrated it.

I found it painfully unfunny and quite amateurish, except for the cinematography.

Haven't seen "Eastern Plays", but I heard good things about it. I might give it a shot :)